I'm convinced that the originial ugly sweater party host was just some poor soul who overindulged at Thanksgiving, gained too much belly fat for any fancy party outfits, and decided to make his friends share in the misery of tackiness by enforcing an ugly sweater dress code. Since then, the party theme has gained notoriety, and the sales of these horrendous garments has grown exponentially-they are snatched from thrift stores as soon as they appear, and there are now even secret specialty stores that now carry the perfectly tacky sweater for your party needs.
I prefer to save tinsel and reindeer figurines for my Christmas tree, so I came up with some else this year. A minimalist, avant-garde alternative to the standard Christmas party attire, this will only set you back the cost of a cheap old seater, some acrylic paint, and a paintbrush. Brush those words on, let it dry overnight, and you're ready to go!